I think the hardest part of this decision is not a personal or emotional one - it's a logical one. A career, especially in this economic downturn, isn't easy to come by. And will a jaunt overseas hurt or benefit my job outlook upon returning? Do I want to forsake going back to work entirely and return to graduate school?
These are the logical, mental conundrums I face. Emotionally and personally, I know this trip will be a great benefit to my growth as a person, a soul. But, when it's back to the "real world", what will the effects be? Besides a career path, what will the outcome be when it comes to my own perception of the United States? What if I return to find I am miserable being once again in this culture? What if I return and find that it has caused a giant rift with my already-too-far-away family? While I doubt they'll love me any less, the sacrifice of not seeing them for a time is considerable.
I guess these are the risks you take when it comes to long-term travel - it has to be a willing sacrifice when it comes to the impact it will have on my familial and friend relationships. It will be a year out of their lives. A year where, if something were to happen, my ability to be there for people is hampered.
Right now, I think it's a worthwhile sacrifice - family is in good health and my friends won't disappear after a mere year. A few of them might actually meet me along the way as they consider their own reaction to an uncertain job forecast.
Chasing a dream is something I've done before - it was hard but it did lead to something great. You fall, you get back up again - being knocked out by a single punch isn't my methodology. So these worries are something I need to deal with at the end of the day.
"The only things I've ever regretted are the things I never did."
This has been my motto for years and, while it has lead to grief, it has also led to the amazing and I have never regretted any of my decisions.....well, ok, there are a few but they were rare and far in between. Even when things go bad, you still learn and it makes you a better person. At least, that's how it should be.
I went to the library and got a few books to consider - some inspirational for this trip and others factual. I'll post how they did and all their information for future readers.
Until later....
Have love, will travel,
Kabel
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
The Start
Every journey has a beginning - I guess this is mine.
I've always loved to travel - I love new cities and new people. I get itchy feet if I don't leave my home to go do something at least once or twice a week. I get jumpy if I don't take a trip outside my town once a month. I get depressed if I don't take an airplane ride somewhere less than 4 times a year. And so I make time to travel - always using all of my vacation days to the fullest.
But it never seems to be enough time to truly learn about a place - I'm always checking in for a week at the most and then checking back out to my hum-drum life in the real world. I dream constantly about what it would be like to take months, a year off and truly immerse myself in travel. There were a few very important things that occured to get me motivated and convinced to take this leap.
First, it was toying with going to Thailand for a month with a friend. Then, as they typically do when faced with big commitmets, that friend bailed. I had always been afraid to travel by myself - a young, reasonably attractive outgoing woman on her own seems an easy target in even major cities of the US. But after seeing and being is some of the worst parts of our cities, I grew to realize that, despite a nice suburban upbringing, I underestimate my own set of street smarts. Or common sense as most people would call it. For the first time, it dawned on me that I could travel by myself without too much worry - that other women travel on their own constantly. Then came the idea of traveling to Thailand on my own for month - the confidence was there.
Second, the economy dived. I didn't lose my job or suffer the endless months of unemployment but, it did make me realize, how fleeting a job really is. How one job is really no different than the other and that, putting your time in at a company, isn't as fulfilling or stable as I'd been raised to believe. Why limit myself to my job? Why not see what else is out there? I've seen pretty much every corner of the US minus a few states which left travel abroad. The eternal question of "what constitutes a good life?" became something where a career got taken out of the equation. At the end of my life, I want to be able to say I traveled the world, that I did what I dreamed of - not that I spent another year working and going about my daily life.
Third, I got of debt - well, mostly. For the first time since college, I owned my car, paid off my credit cards, and was left with only student loans staring me in the face. And I realized all of the things I'd accumulated in the past few years - how temporary majority of them were. How easy it would be to sell majority of them in pursuit of a dream.
Fourth, I turned 29. I was never someone who held much stock in turning 30 as a scary experience but then came my own last year of my 20's and it sparked something in me. I was getting older - and your 30's were always a definition of "old" in my early 20's. But here I was - joining the ranks of my elders in 12 month's time. I had always said I would do my Thailand trip before I was 30 and here I was a year shy of it with no sore shoulders or feet to show for it. My mother always said you could do anything you put your mind to - the work might be hard and the road long, but you can do it. That advice has never failed me so why should it now?
Fifth, that dratted itchy feet. I think my mind thrives on a challenge - once the challenge is faced and overcome, it starts looking around for anything it can solve. If there's nothing to solve, I can start to invent my own problems. It took years to get myself to realize my tendency to self-sabotage and corrale it into something useful - motivation, drive, desire, stubborness, tenacity. There are times I can feel a steel rod replacing my spine and I know I am a lot stronger than I think I am . I knew I could do this on my own terms.
So here I am - writing a blog that hopefully will include an entry title with "I'm Off!" sometime in the next year. Why write a blog? Because, confronted with all the information out there online and advice from people, it can be hard to find good recommendations from someone you think is credible. And if there's one thing I'm good at, it's research. And if there's one thing I'll want access to overseas, it will be all the information I find in my research so a blog make it easily accesible should I need it down the line.
One thing I've already realized, the library is the best free source of information you can find. From articles to books, they have it all. And inspiration from previous travelers too. Don't worry - I will not neglect the internet for sources either but they are getting screened a lot more than most.
Hopefully, others will find this blog helpful - for that is the intent. Feel free to comment or not - I don't mind talking into cyberspace either but company is always nice.
Have love, will travel,
Kabel
I've always loved to travel - I love new cities and new people. I get itchy feet if I don't leave my home to go do something at least once or twice a week. I get jumpy if I don't take a trip outside my town once a month. I get depressed if I don't take an airplane ride somewhere less than 4 times a year. And so I make time to travel - always using all of my vacation days to the fullest.
But it never seems to be enough time to truly learn about a place - I'm always checking in for a week at the most and then checking back out to my hum-drum life in the real world. I dream constantly about what it would be like to take months, a year off and truly immerse myself in travel. There were a few very important things that occured to get me motivated and convinced to take this leap.
First, it was toying with going to Thailand for a month with a friend. Then, as they typically do when faced with big commitmets, that friend bailed. I had always been afraid to travel by myself - a young, reasonably attractive outgoing woman on her own seems an easy target in even major cities of the US. But after seeing and being is some of the worst parts of our cities, I grew to realize that, despite a nice suburban upbringing, I underestimate my own set of street smarts. Or common sense as most people would call it. For the first time, it dawned on me that I could travel by myself without too much worry - that other women travel on their own constantly. Then came the idea of traveling to Thailand on my own for month - the confidence was there.
Second, the economy dived. I didn't lose my job or suffer the endless months of unemployment but, it did make me realize, how fleeting a job really is. How one job is really no different than the other and that, putting your time in at a company, isn't as fulfilling or stable as I'd been raised to believe. Why limit myself to my job? Why not see what else is out there? I've seen pretty much every corner of the US minus a few states which left travel abroad. The eternal question of "what constitutes a good life?" became something where a career got taken out of the equation. At the end of my life, I want to be able to say I traveled the world, that I did what I dreamed of - not that I spent another year working and going about my daily life.
Third, I got of debt - well, mostly. For the first time since college, I owned my car, paid off my credit cards, and was left with only student loans staring me in the face. And I realized all of the things I'd accumulated in the past few years - how temporary majority of them were. How easy it would be to sell majority of them in pursuit of a dream.
Fourth, I turned 29. I was never someone who held much stock in turning 30 as a scary experience but then came my own last year of my 20's and it sparked something in me. I was getting older - and your 30's were always a definition of "old" in my early 20's. But here I was - joining the ranks of my elders in 12 month's time. I had always said I would do my Thailand trip before I was 30 and here I was a year shy of it with no sore shoulders or feet to show for it. My mother always said you could do anything you put your mind to - the work might be hard and the road long, but you can do it. That advice has never failed me so why should it now?
Fifth, that dratted itchy feet. I think my mind thrives on a challenge - once the challenge is faced and overcome, it starts looking around for anything it can solve. If there's nothing to solve, I can start to invent my own problems. It took years to get myself to realize my tendency to self-sabotage and corrale it into something useful - motivation, drive, desire, stubborness, tenacity. There are times I can feel a steel rod replacing my spine and I know I am a lot stronger than I think I am . I knew I could do this on my own terms.
So here I am - writing a blog that hopefully will include an entry title with "I'm Off!" sometime in the next year. Why write a blog? Because, confronted with all the information out there online and advice from people, it can be hard to find good recommendations from someone you think is credible. And if there's one thing I'm good at, it's research. And if there's one thing I'll want access to overseas, it will be all the information I find in my research so a blog make it easily accesible should I need it down the line.
One thing I've already realized, the library is the best free source of information you can find. From articles to books, they have it all. And inspiration from previous travelers too. Don't worry - I will not neglect the internet for sources either but they are getting screened a lot more than most.
Hopefully, others will find this blog helpful - for that is the intent. Feel free to comment or not - I don't mind talking into cyberspace either but company is always nice.
Have love, will travel,
Kabel
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