Late nights across 19 years

I remember the yellow chair -'it was overstuffed and sat below the one window in my belfry bedroom on the third floor of our townhouse in Grosse Pointe. I remember late nights in bed watching the minutes tick by on the alarm clock that balanced on its arm as Sarah mclachlan played in the background and the rain pelted the window. The quiet smell of old that always permeated my room, the shadows cast on the wall by the swaying pine branches - I could feel the slight zing of the rain even through the glass.

I remember longing for sleep -'begging for it. But it didn't come - only listening to an entire Sarah album could do that.

So here I am, 19 years later, listening to fumbling towards ecstasy and willing it to work. No more ambien or smoking pot but just the music like all those years ago.

And it isn't working and I don't know how to feel about that.

Other than to take an ambien so I can function at work tomorrow.

The cycle must be broken - Sheryl crows Tuesday night music club is up tomorrow night.....

The purpose of our body is to fulfill the dreams we have in our minds. It's our vehicle to the stars.